First Day of Spring/Anniversary

How can a bicycle crash on the first day of Spring be wrong?

Today marks the 17th anniversary of my bicycle crash, which hospitalized me for 2 weeks.  About a year and a half afterwards, I gave birth to my first child.

I have wondered at times, what I have to show for myself, having survived an accident that easily could have taken my life.  Annually, I mark the memory, as it was something that at the time, had a huge impact on my emotional disposition.  It literally moved me from a depressed state, to one of wanting to be a part of the rat race and embracing life with gratitude.

What do I have to show for myself?  The most obvious answer, is two amazing children.  Other than that, I’m not sure what I can point to as accomplishments…of worth.

That brings up the whole question of What is worthy?  I once met the world’s greatest shot.  He wasn’t the greatest shot anymore when I met him, but he was still holding on to that accomplishment from years before.  My private thought was, But what has meaning for you NOW?  Do all the photographs, memories, accomplishments, awards, mistakes, tickets that we accumulate, really mean anything today?  Or, are we best left living each day doing what we enjoy? LIM.  Live in the Moment.

I came across a wonderful LIM book, young adult or juvenile, last year.  I read it, and eventually my teen daughter reluctantly read it, and loved it.  Ah, the book?  Carpe Diem by Autumn Cornwell.

I also want to press a link to the Qi Gong routine I finally did today, after a months-long hiatus. Watch Jing Li do it on YouTube, or her father, Master Li, from whom I learned it, in the movie below.

It felt fantastic to return to the 10 minute routine, which got me breathing well, at least for those 10 minutes, and the familiar motions came back, like the body memory of getting dressed.  The brain doesn’t matter, after so many repetitions performed previously with the brain engaged.  The body did it for me.  That really says something for the value of time spent practicing anything, repeatedly.  If only I could get my son to realize the worthiness of piano practice!  How amazing it is to engage with life, or should I say the life pulse, life spirit, breath of life, that one feels when doing something so physically familiar that it is as if you are part of the River itself.

And all the rain we’ve had around here lately is bringing the river back up and alive, and that is fantastic!

All that said, I opened my work binder right before I left the house, to find a scroll-like note from teen daughter.  At the top, the word “Mother.”  At the bottom, the word “Love” with a heart (her sign). In the middle, a litany of “the one who…”  my favorite of which is “the one who does (underlined) give a hoot.”  Second favorite, “the one who annoys us.”

I don’t know what moved her to scribble that down for me and surprise me with it.  The timing is perfect, though I didn’t think she remembered what this day means for me.

I’ll take that on my epitaph.  “The one who gave a hoot.”

In the Way (it sounds like I’m talking about the Tao, but I know too little to say for sure),